Things I saw, did, and slept through this weekend

January is the time of year when movie studios tend to unload their worst fare. There are of course exceptions to the rule... but so far this season is shaping up to be pretty much like clockwork.
I didn't have much going on on Friday evening, so a friend and I decided to head out to Revere to see a movie. Long story short, we tend not to have to pay for films in Revere, which in the case of the film we ended up seeing was a blessing from the corporate cinema gods.

I just want to preface my next statements with a very important point: I am a HUGE fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000. One of the main reasons I have any interest in film at all is my love for that show. Possibly sad, but very true.

Anyway, the only film playing when we got to the theater at around 11:30 was "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale".

We thought: What is this film? Why have we heard nothing about it? Ooooh, Leelee Sobieski is in it... she's cute, right?

So, we picked up our tickets at the box office and made our way to the very last theater in the darkest corridor of the cineplex. I'm pretty sure bats flew out of the theater when we opened the door to enter.
The film, if one can really call it that, began with Ray Liotta smooching Leelee Sobiesky affectionately... and honestly, that's where I got lost. Seriously. NO idea what was going on. Then I fell asleep. Then there were trolls and tree-ninjas. And I fell asleep again. More trolls, Evil Ray Liotta. More sleep... and then possibly the Greatest Song Ever over the credits. Oh, and apparently it was directed by Uwe Boll. Also, 124 minutes long. Seriously.
King would definitely be in the running for worst movie of the year had I actually been awake for at least a third of it.

On Saturday the previously mentioned friend and I took in the Puppet Showplace Theater's
bi-monthly PuppetSLAM. This was my third, and I still find it hard to describe these events. Basically about 12 performers present brief skits with puppets. Many forms of puppetry are showcased, but last night shadow puppets were representing. My favorite was a piece on the history of LeRoy New York, the birthplace of Jell-O. I know I'm not doing much justice to the PuppetSlams, but they are events I highly recommend. The next SLAM is on March 15th. You should really go.

When the PuppetSLAM was over, friend and I decided to take another trip out to Revere. We recently discovered that the cineplex has a bar and grill in the lobby. No lies. We thought it would be a great idea to get a little festive and then take on 27 Dresses. Part of that plan was a great idea.
Film critics throw the term "by the numbers" around quite a bit when referring to Romantic Comedies. The term 100% applies to Dresses. There isn't a single thing that makes it stand out, or even makes it worth watching. The two women behind us (and this was at 12:30 AM) seemed to genuinely enjoy the film. I have to wonder if they'd seen a moving picture before. I also have to wonder if I have a soul. Probably not.
I also fell asleep a third of the way into the film, and woke up sometime around the climax. I was also able to predict the final line of the film which, is not a good thing.
I'm not going to get into how degrading Dressed is to women... that fact is probably self-evident.

My goal is to find a winter film I can stay awake for,

Puppets: 1
Movies: 0